Solving the minimalist server
By Jeff Hookham

The question

How many words does it take to wait on a guest at a full-service restaurant? Based on my experience recently, I know the answer.
I try not to write about bad service experiences very often because, well, it’s too easy. Plus I think it comes across sounding like I’m whining. That said, this was one experience I had to write about.


The story

It was a little after 1 p.m. when my business partner, Stuart, and I pulled into the parking lot of an independent restaurant in Dallas. (Restaurant name withheld to protect the innocent.)

The hostess gave a warm greeting and sat us at a table near the front. She took our drink order and told us our waiter would be along shortly. The drinks arrived and a few seconds later our waiter, “Bill,” approached the table.

The greeting is a key moment in a service interaction. First impressions, creating hospitality, etc. … It’s at this point where the pros sizzle and the duds (or untrained) fizzle.

Bill’s all important greeting: “Ready to order?”

I hate that! All I’m looking for is a nice greeting, which I don’t think is too much for you to ask from your staff.

I knew this wasn’t going to go well so I ordered a burger. Hey, if the wait staff is this poorly trained, I’m not taking any chances with the kitchen help. It’s hard to mess up a burger and fries order.
Stuart tried to give Bill a shot at redemption so he asked, “What’s the one thing you do great here that would make me want to come back?”

“Ribs,” was his single word reply. Apparently no further explanation was needed. Bill rushed off with the burger and ribs order and a bit later the food was brought out. I should mention the timing of the meal was fantastic, what with no words to slow him down and all.

I was pretty sure we wouldn’t get the two minutes or two bites check back and I was not disappointed. Near the end of the meal Bill did notice an empty glass and he asked, “What are you drinking?”

Home Run! Without much effort, Bill had doubled his word count. Way to go Bill! He finished off nicely with a “Thanks” as we left the table. I found myself wondering if he set a personal best for fewest words during a service cycle.


The answer

So, now we know the answer to my original question. How many words does it take to wait on a table? Nine.


The solution

I can’t make this kind of service experience up. The whole time we’re both thinking, “Where is the manager?” Bill obviously isn’t cut out for this line of work but someone hired him and put him on the floor. Does he always exhibit this type of behavior or was he having a bad day?

The real question you have to ask is how much business is the restaurant losing because of Bill?

Here are some steps you can take to make sure this doesn’t happen at your restaurant:

1. Define your service expectations

Have a structured waitstaff training program so you can set your service expectations up front.

2. Communication tools

Have a way for the guest to communicate their experience. Comment cards and Web sites with comment areas are a great start.

3. Conduct service audits

4. MBWA

Management By Wandering Around. I doubt if anyone reading this

would have allowed this type of behavior to exist. But you have to see it to correct it.

Hit the floor to see what kind of service experience your guests are having. Don’t let poor service stand in the way of your success.